April 13th, 2011 at 10:38 am by Stupid Rubbish

“”Your nine inch worm will amaze her!”"

Wait…what? My nine inch worm will AMAZE her?

This is f*cking fantastic

According to my Hotmail in-box anyway.

This can only be a revelation and I am absolutely de-f*cking-lighted to discover that I now have a nine inch worm. Even better, it’s going to amaze her. I’m not sure who she is at this point but I’m going to be honest and say that I’m already getting real feelings for her… after all, she f*cking adores my worm right?

“”Your sexual performance is something that deserves great attention and care! Don’t wait too long!”"

f*ck!

Talk about reality check… there’s me still riding the hip grinding high of my new worm and already it’s clear that there is some kind of time limit in play here. “Don’t wait too long!” – how long IS too long…?

f*ck this sh!t!

Ok, take a deep breath and lets look at this with a clear head.

It’s MY work that amazes her… it’s MY worm. So the cockbollock is my court here and I need to grow some decent sized balls and make the most of this just like the Doctor said. And lets face it, if my worm amazes her it’s pretty likely that my massive spastic balls will bowl her the f*ck over.

Seriously.

And who IS she?

All this enigmatic communication… the coy use of disrupted medical-sexual filthwords.

God I want her.

And I f*cking know she wants my worm.

One Response to “Nine-inch worm.”

  1. SadieX says:

    1. Its better than a nine inch nail
    2. Nine inch / “worm” – oxymoron. Nine inch snake = much more believable
    3. Well, hello there.