April 16th, 2011 at 11:13 am by Stupid Rubbish

Do those mildly unusual people who talk to their pets really think that they can understand, or is it a new form of mental illness spread by communal changing rooms, fingering and the dirty internet?

When animals look at us it’s because they want us to feed them or rub their f*cking faces or pick them up or pick up the sh!t or piss that they just made or something. Their actual piss and sh!t.

Unless its a fish. Obviously, in which case they don’t even f*cking KNOW that they are looking at you. Because they are a fish. And because they swim around inside their own actual sh!t and piss.

Putting on a special retarded pet voice to talk to an animal is basically a full and frank admission that you are a really f*cking dangerous pervert. But even worse are those people who put on yet another voice and actually say the pretend answers for their bewildered and starving creature out loud.

It isn’t talking.

It ISN’T talking.

And what’s worse is that now both me AND your f*cking boring hell kitten think you are a massive c*nt. Massive.

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