April 17th, 2011 at 1:28 pm by Stupid Rubbish

Sunny days do nothing but bring out all the utter f*cksh!ts from every God forsaken crab-bumming sh!thole in the known and unknown universe. And Wigan.

The streets are full of women who smell like fruit or unusual food but look like three-week old dolphin carcasses that have been suddenly and roughly used as window mannequins by Primark.

The streets are full of men who look like they accidentally wore the clothes of a teenage boy, their aviator driven self-conciseness reeking like the stench of middle-aged defeat as they slither by sporting a semi.

The Streets is a British rap project from London, United Kingdom fronted by famously talented talker, Mike Skinner.

Every public area instantly becomes completely rammed with bloated, skin-wearing Argos people. Suddenly it’s as if it is absolutely normal to wander about with tins of lager or sit, open legged, on a wall outside a pub in your three-quarter length paedo trousers in the middle of the f*cking day, with a Staffordshire Bull Terrier on a short piece of rope. Oily rope.

Babies are being sunburned.

Paddling pools are being sucked off.

Every motherf*cker in the universe wants a BBQ for tea.

And what’s worse, what is SO MUCH WORSE… is the fact that all the rest of you awful, awful people are about to start invading the beautiful seaside where I live, with your stinking beach balls and roof boxes.

Summer is canceled, move away from the outdoors – there is nothing to see.

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