April 9th, 2011 at 7:20 am by Stupid Rubbish

You know what the only good thing about waking up at five am is?


Don’t you give me any of that rancid spastic stuff about sunrise or the dawn chorus. Don’t even start me on the freshness, or the stillness, or the little bits of dew clustered like tourists and perverts all over my stuff.

No, the one and only good thing about waking up at five am is ABSOLUTELY f*ck ALL NOTHING.

It’s a stupid time and it looks warm but it’s still cold.

Even I feel some trepidation about turning back to  hard, dirty sleep-inducing alcohol to make sleep happen… at this time in the morning.

So there I am, sat up like a f*cking corpse and not even the silver-lining of a painfully engorged morning gentleman’s peanus to onanise myself back into a filthy stupor. Pointless wake up. Pointless morning. Pointless.

I’m going to go make a trap for the postman’s legs.



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