April 24th, 2011 at 11:11 am by Stupid Rubbish

So there was this bloke who was awesome.

He was quite long-haired and his Mother hadn’t had any sex done on her but she did have him as a little baby in a minger or something and stuff.

And his Dad wasn’t his real actual Dad. A nice carpenter bloke looked after him and probably had a pretty hot thing for the Mum and stuff but his real Dad was an actual God Dad.

Dad God.

And LO! He did mad sh!t all the time!. He turned water into Special Brew and he had f*cking enormous picnics in the desert where everyone ate bread and fish and bread.

But bad stuff happened too.

Some people were really f*cked off and jealous and stupid and like babies so there were fights and some rucks.

And LO! there were rucks and fistf*cking.

So they ended up nailing this fella to a massive wooden thing to kill him in the face. They would have stapled him but that is part of an ongoing copyright litigation, so f*ck it, nails.

And he got deaded.

And he got pushed into a small cave and a rock was put on his mouth.

But…

LATER!

He wasn’t in the cave and it definitely wasn’t animals that took his corpse and there is no way anyone had robbed the grave because he was massively famous and things. No way.

And then he was alive again!

And the fact that even the Bible pretty much says he looked and acted like a completely different person, he was definitely the same magic God-Dadded person.

At it was awesome.

And then heaven.

Also, there was a raft and some bumming in hell but all that sh!t is also under litigation.

The End.

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