April 28th, 2011 at 7:15 pm by Stupid Rubbish

So here is the scenario – and it’s not as unlikely as you might think.

This one is for straight, ladypumping hetero men – but I am currently working on some socially diverse alternatives so don’t go burning the rainbow flags on my front garden or writing “f*cking bummer basher” on my wall just yet.

Ok, so here is the thing.

You lose your actual own cock part in a horrible accident where it ends up chewed into utter f*ckpulp by a small and angry dog. There is no way it can be repaired as it is basically minced pork now. Lean minced pork.


You get the amazing chance to have a replacement gentleman’s peanus put right back on there! It’s a complex operation but the chances of success are very high. And it will be a proper working penal attachment part.


You only have two options before you run out of time and have to live out your days with a manvaginal cockstump that looks like a flesh coloured Rolo.

Option one is a nice cock, but it’s a little small, but it’s previous owner was a brilliant guy who worked for various charities and once saved a baby from a house fire. Small cock though.

Option two is a solid nine inches of lovemeat. But it belonged to an utter raving bummer who has certainly put it inside of another man’s bottom on more than one occasion.

Which one would you have?

And why are you even THINKING about this at all?

Thanks in advance.

One Response to “Cock options.”

  1. Would the bummer cock still have a sh!tty tide-mark, man stink and with 3 week old sweetcorn in the Japanese eyehole? This might just swing the deal for option 1.