May 1st, 2011 at 7:38 pm by Stupid Rubbish

My best friend once pissed into my actual mouth.

He was fully asleep at the time, but no matter how you frame it up, the guy pissed piss from his penal cock and it went onto my face and mouth. This is including in.

So that’s piss, in my mouth.

Incredibly, it’s not the most unusual places I have seen him piss either. We were once kicked out of quite a cool party because he had done a private slash into the pocket of a full sized snooker table.

Another time, we were chased by a relentlessly angry taxi driver because my friend had done a quick little piss through the open window of the cab, from the outside, onto the driver.

It’s like a disease.

It’s pissing Tourette’s I think.

I sometimes wonder if I could help him, you know… support him more and see if I could be a part of getting him through it all. This disease. I even feel guilty sometimes for using it extensively when writing my speech as his Best Man.

But then I think no, f*ck it, it’s f*cking hilarious watching him get wasted and start slashing everywhere like a f*cking stray dog.

Well done that man, piss is f*cking hilarious.

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