May 8th, 2011 at 12:32 pm by Stupid Rubbish

I f*cking hate shaving.

Since when was it deemed somehow smart or presentable to arbitrarily scrape hair off a portion of my stupid face?

Nobody expects you to shave your top head to be smart or presentable so WHY MY f*ckING FACE?

I hate shaving and I am utterly certain that only perverts and bum babies do it by actual choice.

Dry shaving is a massive, conceited, BONALD* of a lie. None of those adverts represent the reality of limply pussy-berking a pathetic buzzing tw@t around your gob whilst it painfully tears out the odd hair like some kind of random pain generator.

And why do shavers smell like food mixers from when we were kids?

And wet shaving is a f*cking labour of COCK. Shaving gel always goes in my ear and the only good bit is when you splash on some aftershave and for a second you feel exactly like your own Dad.

I just splashed on some aftershave.

I feel like exactly my own Dad.

*Invented by the amazing @MrLloydSpandex

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