January 13th, 2012 at 11:55 pm by Stupid Rubbish

This one is a real winner with the carnivores or any particularly crap vegetarianers.


1. Get some steak. Make sure it isn’t cheap sh!t for f*ck’s sake – this isn’t the third world.

2. Leave at room temperature and rub it sexually with olive oil and pepper. f*ck off with your salt.

3. Make a pan hot. If you are a pervert you could use a grill now, but if I’m honest – I’d rather you didn’t follow the rest of MY recipe if you intend to because frankly, you disgust me and I think you should leave.

4. Cook the steak a bit.

5. Only a bit, unless you like the taste of f*cking shoe.

6. Read four again. And five.

7. Don’t f*ck about with the steak, just cook it a couple of minutes both sides.

8. Your steak is now done, you can add salt to taste if you like.

9. Rest your steak a bit on a warm plate and put the pan juice on it.

10. f*ck off and eat it.


What could be simpler?










6 Responses to “A lot at steak.”

  1. Dynah says:

    So, how come you don’t have your own cookery show.
    That was beautiful man!

  2. MrPage303 says:

    As I use salt crystals I find it best to add as I put it in the pan. It melts in and enhances the flavour! That’s just me tho. Your recipe is bang on otherwise! :)

  3. wo0 says:

    That is cooked far too much you massive c*nt.