June 2nd, 2011 at 11:31 pm by Stupid Rubbish

Trains.

What is it about trains that bring out the absolute f*cking worst in human beings?

First off, it’s a hot and sweaty BALLGAG of a place to be, it’s not relaxing or fun or brilliant and you cannot sit and read a book or anything vaguely interesting because you end up STANDING UP by the MOTHERf*ckING TOILETS nine times out of ten.

Also – all trains inherently stink of STALE ARSEHOLES.

Then you get people who clamber aboard carting and dragging all sorts of f*cking sh!t like bikes, pushchairs, ugly babies and overfilled suitcases on badly disabled wheels. Then stand gormlessly near their f*cking trophy blocking the aisle for the rest of the human race.

People crowd into stupid places then become terrified to move in case they fall the f*ck down or do an accidental effort-shart due to fighting the inertia of the train. Personal space becomes a distant memory as an elderly man pushes his beige groin into your mouth like a Werther’s Original.

Every train has a bleary eyed drunken tw@t with an armful of tinned booze on it regardless of WHAT time of day you travel or what your destination is, he’s often a squaddie, often wearing a football shirt, sometimes asleep…

Always a c*nt of the highest order.

Fat people: STOP BEING CROSS BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO BIG TO FIT – THE WHOLE POINT IS THAT YOU ARE THE WRONG c*ntING SIZE YOU MASSIVE SWEATY FOOD OBSESSED VIRGIN PIG.

And to top it off, it’s too expensive, the staff are ignorant over smart-arsed COCKWHEELS and the bastard things are always late.

If I wasn’t sh!tfaced I’d be driving.

Comments are closed.