June 7th, 2011 at 9:03 pm by Stupid Rubbish


Swaggering tw@t boy is a teenager and he he knows f*ckING EVERYTHING.

He’s got the Internet and all sorts of amazing sh!t on his side and just enough credibility with his idiot friends to effectively convince himself that he’s pretty f*cking clued up in the big wide world and it’s amazing ways.

He’s not stupid – far from it – but he definitely has most of his head shoved RIGHT UP HIS TEENAGE ARSE.

Because he is swaggering tw@t boy.

He likes cool films and cool music and crazy sh!t that he genuinely believes his parents CANNOT UNDERSTAND, because despite his intelligence he seems to have utterly forgotten that they were exactly his age once too.

Exactly his age once.

Swaggering tw@t boy is becoming more and more obsessed with running his own tiny life. He wants to make all sorts of grown up decisions for his amazing self. And he wants to get out into the real world and drive cars and have sex with actual women (not just watch YouPorn) and DO THINGS.


Not that f*cking sh!t nonsense in school, lessons and pathetic teachers who CANNOT understand the importance of the universe that spreads outwards from his teenage face in all directions as far as the mind can see.

Important sh!t is important.

Important things like, what girls think he is cool or what he and his mates can get up to at the weekend or how many random strangers acknowledge him for no reason. Facebook. Parties. Pretending to be f*cking independent.

SO important.


What’s the point in conforming and trying to make the effort in school?

I’ll tell you.

Firstly, all those people you think are cool right now are f*ckING WASTERS. Those older guys who hang around with teenagers and bring their cars along and get lot’s of action from those girls that are just too old to give a sh!t about you…. yeah, them – they are f*ckING SCUM.

The rest of us view them as disgusting inbred paedophiles who never managed to form any real friendships beyond the tragic friendship they have with the palm of their personal w@nkhands.

And the lazy w@nkers you see in the pub during the day – f*cking spongers, no minds, no prospects and no f*cking life. Have you seen Jeremy Kyle.

And those tossers who throw classes to f*ck off and hide and show off, yea – you think they are cool now. Wait until you see them in ten years time, three kids, sh!t house, no job, fat gut, sh!t clothes. FACT.

Do you really think that the people around you that seem f*cking boring because they have worked hard enough to create a safe and stable environment are YOUR ENEMIES!?

You f*cking idiot.

All the people you think it’s cool to ignore are the ones who know better and by the time you realise it you will be a jobless waste of spunk with nothing but beer and cheap sh!t to keep you company.

Serves you right!

And what will the smart kids that you think are idiots right now, be doing THEN?

They will be at University!

Do you know what happens at University?

No. No you don’t.

SEX AND ALCOHOL AND MORE SEX is what happens at University. You work hard and get some GCSEs and A’ Levels or similar and you toddle off to Uni where you get to run your OWN f*cking life, rack up silly debt and drink booze and f*ck women you only just met.

Pick wisely and you  even get half a chance at making your tinpot Degree get you some kind of actual decent job, so you can AFFORD TO BUY sh!t. And actually enjoy life beyond scraping the bare minimum together for just enough Cider to ply a chav girl in a car park to SUCK YOU OFF.

What do you want – a f*cking MAP OF LIFE?

Get your f*cking arse to lessons and make use of the f*cking BUBBLE between your ears before your precious life takes ALL those opportunities back and leaves you with NOTHING but a shell suit and a f*cking head full of regret.

Sort it out.










2 Responses to “Swaggering tw@t boy.”

  1. dawnthebesom says:

    Ilove this. I’m going to print it out and keep it for my kids when they are teenagers. I love you.