June 15th, 2011 at 8:35 pm by Stupid Rubbish

Picture the f*cking scene.

There I was, on my way back from another long day working tirelessly like some kind of amazing Saint for various charities an sh!t, giving a little something back. Only to find my whole life RUINED by something so f*cking awful that when I got to safety I had to drink a whole bottle of Vimto just to calm my bastardised nerves.

I also seem to remember on this particular day I actually saved a horse from drowning.

A f*cking horse.

It must have panicked or sh!t itself badly and fell into a river or something. Or a lake. Either way – it doesn’t matter does it? The fact of the matter is I was like a f*cking superhero. I stripped down to my smalls and dived fearlessly straight in to the Lake. River, f*cking whatever thing. And heroically pulled the struggling f*cker to safety to rounds of applause and appropriate touching.

I even gave it mouth to mouth.

I mouth to mouthed a f*cking pony horse.

And people cheered all over me.

Anyway, I don’t like to mention this sh!t because I’m a very private person you know and I keep myself to myself, quietly get along with my altruistic f*cking hero faced life. I’m not one for a fuss or for making a drama or getting worked up by things… f*ck no.

I like to think of myself as a kind of quiet but ultimately brilliant stranger.

Like a mysterious bloke that women want to do a sex on.

SO ANYWAY!

Imagine my horror, after all my f*ckING HEROICS to find out that when I got back to my little seaside cottage that I had been f*ckING MASSIVELY ROBBED.

I’m not talking about my worldly possessions here, f*ck no, this is something MUCH WORSE, this is a f*cking betrayal wrapped inside a molestation pretty much nailed to forced backside bumming.

This was a theft from my PERSONAL f*ckING SOUL.

These f*cking devious, conniving, RUTHLESS monsters had stolen my stories from this VERY SITE and dragged them screaming over to Facebook to use for their own evil games. I found just a hollow black void where “Staggering tw@t Boy” used to live… ripped from my bosom and pulled away to fuel all sorts of perverted f*cking sh!tfilth.

What’s worse?

After DESTROYING MY LIFE the pair of f*ckpesterers then hunted me down on Twitter and began taunting, provoking and generally BULLYING me in a way that made me sick in my own mouth.

Imagine it.

A gentle soul… a little egg loose in the world of Twitter. A softly spoken, helpful little character with kind words and good spirits for all. I mean COME ON… I’m just not used to the kinds of foul language and sexual predation that I was made to endure!

Let’s just get one thing straight…

I’m the victim here.

I’m the victim.

I won’t make a fuss… I’ll struggle on, I’m a f*cking survivor.

The moral of the story is that I have learned the hard way that this world is full of thieves and perverts and staggering beautiful but DEADLY sisters who will tear your f*cking heart out in their quest to rule Facebook and c*ntSpace and MYf*ck or whatever the sh!tting Jesus those places are.

Just be careful of these two if you ever see them, they are utter SHE DEVILS…

@gracieloufen & @Dawnthebesom

Don’t have nightmares.

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