I’ve always been a square peg in a round hole.
I willfully hammer myself in deeper because I f*cking love it. I’ve always been a firm believer in doing whatever the f*ck I like and making sure every stupid train-wreck of a situation I regularly, repeatedly, constantly find myself in, at least adds something to the bubbling pot of wrongf*ck that is me.
It usually does.
I’ve met some amazing people and made some incredible mistakes too.
I guess we all have.
Everyone is unique, but some people are more unique than others.
I once saw a man take a long run up and kick a full (hot) roast chicken, as hard as he could, directly into the surprised face of another man. I’ve slept on a snooker table two nights in a row, a deer once spat right into my open mouth and I once pissed on a donkey that wasn’t on fire.
I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of… oh, hold on. f*ck that sh!t.
Secrets are interesting things.
I was recently accused of writing a sh!tstorm of insanity in order to hide occasional, beautiful, poetry. I don’t know about poetry but somebody really smart once said that sometimes the only way to make sure that everyone ignores you is to shout the loudest. Or something.
Nothing validates the soul like the unforced and beautiful smile of a stranger you would love to get to know better. Except maybe that rush when you realise they might want to know you too.
They say life is a journey, I say it’s such a shame that death is the destination.
Earlier today I made a small boat out of a leaf and sailed it across a puddle. I’m still wearing wet shoes now, because I made my tiny boat whilst out on an adventure with my puppies (not tits) in the pouring rain.
And I have muddy knees, because as I was walking along I saw a mouse, a f*cking impossibly tiny mouse, cowering in the middle of the grassy path like a teabag with a face, I think it had been roughed up by something bigger.
I picked it up and popped it into my pocket… I found a little mouse-cave in some tree roots in the next field…and gently put him in there. Safe. Rescued.
Maybe I have a soul after all.