Imagine you are a sweating, cocky and sorely disaffected youth type baby and you find yourself filling up like a BEAKER with adrenalin and the kind of inner excitement that you must imagine sex feels like when it’s not with yourself.

You have a riot semi.

You’re all f*cking STRUTTf*ckING about the place and ready to riot the HELL out of your erect ACORN COCK in the name of NOTHING AT ALL. And what’s more, thanks to your gift of an extremely low IQ you don’t even GIVE A sh!t that what you are about to go running off into isn’t an honorable thing, it’s a filthy criminal clusterf*ck of STINKING MORONS from every section of society.


Lets imagine we can feel the inner rage of the poor, unemployed WASTER who simply can’t be arsed to DO anything with their life because it’s FAR EASIER to sit back like a f*cking BELLEND and waste it whilst blaming others relentlessly.

All the time hoping with all their tiny brainheads that they might get a chance to burn sh!t and get on telly, bravely hiding their ashamed little faces and painfully swollen greedy BOLLOCK PLUMS like peadophile pirates.

You feel like the KING OF THE f*ckING WORLD.

You want EVERYONE to know how BADASS you are because you irrelevantly cowered into a broken shop and ran away like a lame c*nt with one or two worthless piss items as your heart pumped like a mental bum piston.

This is the pinnacle of your SUCCESS.


What are you?

You are a total f*cking ANUS JOKE who’s stolen a bag of Basmati rice.

Well done.