That stuff we are forever pushing into our fat heads to keep us alive.
There really is a great deal of utter bullsh!t spoken and written about food and fooding and I think it’s about time that we stopped listening to it a bit. Food is basically a legal mouth sex that you can happily do in a public place without being arrested or placed onto some kind of register.
Not only does good food have the power to make you fully erect in seconds, but it tastes brilliant inside you too and you can savor the utter tastef*ck out of it without having to share the inside of your head with anyone else at all.
Here’s a plethora of gob genii you can make yourself and share with people:
Sometimes a crispy healthy salad can be a fantastic meal.
Or even a dinner.
Here is an incredibly simple recipe that you can follow carefully in order to get the very most out of your special salad and yet, still thoroughly enjoy yourself and your eating like you do with real food.
This one is a real winner with the carnivores or any particularly crap vegetarianers.
1. Get some steak. Make sure it isn’t cheap sh!t for f*ck’s sake – this isn’t the third world.
2. Leave at room temperature and rub it sexually with olive oil and pepper. f*ck off with your salt.
3. Make a pan hot. If you are a pervert you could use a grill now, but if I’m honest – I’d rather you didn’t follow the rest of MY recipe if you intend to because frankly, you disgust me and I think you should leave.
4. Cook the steak a bit.
5. Only a bit, unless you like the taste of f*cking shoe.
6. Read four again. And five.
7. Don’t f*ck about with the steak, just cook it a couple of minutes both sides.
8. Your steak is now done, you can add salt to taste if you like.
9. Rest your steak a bit on a warm plate and put the pan juice on it.