Pretty fly for a white guy.

I hate killing things and I get really cross at idiot tw@t people who are cruel or nasty to animals and stuff.

I once punched a man who was wearing braces and Cherry Red Dr Martens boots, right in his f*cking oblong face because he stamped on his own dog. The dirty c*nt deserved it in a massive way.

I mean him, not the dog… obv.

Anyway, cruelty and death and that sh!t – I hate it.

Not so say I don’t think it’s OK to rule with a rod of iron, or humanely kill to eat things, or punch the odd deer in the face, obviously that’s fine! But generally if you heartlessly stamp on a little puppy dog’s back whilst laughing with your inbred mates, I certainly will knock you over the wall you are standing by. Hard.

But I’ll tell you what…

I f*cking LOVE hearing my MASSIVE BASTARD ELECTRONIC FLY DESTROYER zapping those foul sh!tty footed buzzing PESTERf*ckS one at a time from the other end of my kitchen.

I f*cking LOVE it.

I cannot STAND the little hairy flying rabbit-sh!ts, spreading their sh!t VOMIT all over my house and w@nking their wings off into my tea.

I f*cking DETEST them and the way that they effortlessly avoid any f*cking attempt to destroy them with a tea towel and every f*cking pointless swipe with a magazine or rolled up newspaper.

And that dumb f*cking thing they do when they just fly in little circles under a light bulb, what the f*ck is that?


Plus they move funny.

Welcome to ELECTRONIC DEATH you horrendous sh!t eaters.