Toast is very important and I think it’s about time you acknowledged this.

Here’s another recipe you can make yourself in your house’s kitchen:

Ingredients: Bread & fire.

1. First off, do this in a toaster because frankly, it’s not the f*cking middle ages.

2. Right, get your bread and put it in the toaster like a normal person.

3. Don’t f*ck about with the setting, put it on 7 and shut up.

4. When it pops out, put butter on the toast but DON’T MASH THE sh!t OUT OF THE BREAD YOU f*ckING PERVERT.

5. READ 4.

6. Put the buttery bread back on the toaster, balanced across the still hot top.

7. Let it go melty.

8. Spread it all nicely and then add the topping of your choice; jam, marmalade, bovril, jam or bovril.

Now put it on a plate and eat it, but for GOD’S SAKE make sure you already brewed tea, because only perverts and f*cking animals eat their toast cold.