Do you know what I really really f*cking hate?
No, you don’t.
But I do, so I’m going to take this opportunity to tell you all about it.
I hate people with superiority complexes that manifest themselves in all sorts of unusual and perverted ways.
Well, I say superiority complexes but the bottom line is that they are just complete BELLENDS, no matter what clever little phrase you attach.
The world is full of them, here is just one of them:
It’s the bloke who unnecessarily stops to let you make a right turn across his lane. He is the only car on the road and he is probably wearing a white office shirt with no tie and he stops and waves you across.
First of all, WHY DOESN’T HE JUST f*ck OFF?
If he keeps driving, there is a gap of about seventy miles immediately behind him, where you could make your turn even if you were driving a f*cking TRAIN.
But worse than that, it’s his f*ckING ATTITUDE.
He’s all rolling-eyes and faux exasperation, waving you across with a dismissive little flick of his fingers as he sighs at your obvious ineptitude at needing to turn right and not being able to DEMATERIALISE YOUR BASTARDING CAR.
Like a hot, genitally bothered, self-important f*ckRANGER he slightly shakes his head like a plastic bulldog as he delivers you from evil, not into temptation, for his is the Kingdom, the power and the glory, for ever and ever, f*ck off.
NOBODY ASKED YOU TO STOP.
NOBODY NEEDED YOU TO STOP.
Why must some people insist on trying to fuss pester the f*ck out of every f*cking living or inanimate thing?
All I do is sit there with a MASSIVE smile and mime the words “f*ck YOU” until they drive away with a bowel-clenching dichotomy of anal be-puzzlement and tingling anger in their bloated faces.
Bottom line, they’re stupid, fat babies and they need to shut up and f*ck off.